Friday, March 03, 2006

Sideswipe

A poster in Hanoi, Vietnam (L) and Henrietta Chicken in a Boston Pet shop.

By Ana Samways

These unappetising, government-issued warning posters (above) in Vietnam's capital, Hanoi, are enough to put you off eating any of our feathered friends. Loosely translated, it says: "To minimise the risk of contracting bird flu, please boil the bejezus out of all poultry before you eat it." (Source: stickyrice.typepad.com)

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Somebody is deeply offended by the bikini-clad, rubber-chicken doggie chew-toy in the window of a Boston Pet shop (above). In his complaint to store owners the offended passerby begs them to remove the suggestive latex Henrietta Chicken and asks how he is "supposed to walk his children by our store and explain to them why there are naked chickens in the window". Indeed. The owner tries to explain to him that all chickens are naked, they usually don't wear clothes and that Henrietta is actually wearing a purple polka-dot bikini, and so was not naked. But offended passerby remains unconvinced and threatens to call the Mayor's office and complain.

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While waiting to cross the intersection of Ponsonby and Richmond Roads, single male noticed an attractive blonde standing chatting to the driver of a car waiting to turn right. The lights changed and the first two cars pulled away; the third car didn't because there was no driver! The penny dropped; the blonde was the AWOL driver. But did she rush back to her car? Did she seem embarrassed at holding up at least 10 other cars waiting to turn right? No, she continued to chat, even after other drivers started to honk their horns. Eventually, with pursed lips and slightly haughty air, she climbed back into her car and pulled forward to the now red light. It was probably a really important conversation though, a cure for cancer perhaps or a solution for Iraq.

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A letter to the editor of the Christchurch Press: "A request: would it be possible to persuade your sub-editors to use 'probe' more sparingly in headings? I ask because I have an enlarged prostate, which means I am subjected to an undignified but necessary digital examination from time to time. Your paper's use of the word can lead to some unease and distress." Sam Noble, Diamond Harbour.

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It's not unusual for executives to take work home at night, but increasingly they take it into the bathroom, reports News of the Weird. Laptop computers, high-speed connections, flat-panel televisions and speaker phones, are accompanying their owners everywhere they go. However, there is a downside. For example: the "sound-chamber" effect (the hollow voice created by typical bathroom acoustics usually gives away one's location) and the "BlackBerry dunk" (with one repair shop saying it gets a half-dozen jobs a day of portable devices accidentally dropped into the sink or tub, "or worse").

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