Thursday, March 16, 2006


For the many Sideswipe readers who strenuously object to parking double standards (Taken outside the Auckland District Court off Albert St last week).

By Ana Samways

Evidence you're getting old even if you're still quite young (From readers):

1. I tucked my shirt into my jeans because it looked cold outside.

2. Taking my knitting to the pub.

3. I'm on my second marriage.

4. Seeing young children smoking and being disgusted that they are starting even earlier than you did. Then being told that they are, in fact, 18.

5. Looking forward to the news.

6. I haven't argued with my parents in years.

7. Realising that the age range of women you fancy is between 16 and 50.

8. Drug dealers and prostitutes think I'm a policeman.

9. Sporadic sex with partner, rather than sex with sporadic partners.

10. My father is 67, and I consider him to be not terribly old.

11. Buying an automatic car: Why use two feet when you can use one?

12. I've started to refer to chart music as "noise".

13. When I was young my dad refused to buy a video recorder because "they'll never catch on", now I refuse to buy an iPod for the same reason.

14. I'm convinced that lollies are getting smaller.

15. Hangovers take two days to clear rather than half the morning.

16. I sometimes can't be bothered getting pissed.

17. Tagging is puerile and ruins park benches.

18. I've just checked most of these comments for spelling mistakes and then corrected them.

19. At work I responded to someone's suggestion that a colleague should get subwoofers for her car with the remark "it's a CAR, not a disco!"

20. I was having a drink and attempting to dance with young attractive ladies. Suddenly one of the girls grabbed my shoulders and turned me round to dance with her mother.

* * *

No one wants a "fun" school: Western Australia plans to ban students from wearing denim to school. "It is associated with weekend wear, with recreational time," said Education Minister Ljiljanna Ravlich. "It's just unacceptable at schools, and we are trying to lift the standards." (Source:


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