Monday, March 20, 2006

Sideswipe



By Ana Samways

A mysterious insignia which gives people supernatural powers has gone missing in a case of life imitating art. The triangular insignia, as big as a man's hand, is the hero prop in a children's TV2 drama series Amazing Extraordinary Friends being filmed in Auckland. It's the story of a teenager who finds the insignia and is endowed with amazing powers and thereafter fights the forces of evil. A few days ago thieves stole a truck containing various props including the insignia (the only one in the universe!). The truck, a Henderson Rentals two-tonner, was pinched from Western Springs and has since been seen doing burn-outs in a Mangere East street and driving near Middlemore Hospital. In the wrong hands the insignia has terrible powers, warn the producers at Greenstone Pictures. Anyone with information should call the police or Greenstone on (09) 630-7333.

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A group of concerned ad-industry creatives are getting behind the Botany Community Board's appeal to rename the new town of Flat Bush being built on the outskirts of Auckland. "The best name they've thought of is Ormiston, which sounds like my contraceptive pill!" says one creative. Another quite likes the "old skool Kiwi style of Flat Bush. Almost as good as that other droll tell-it-like-it-is name - Dairy Flat." Someone else suggests other suburbs are in more urgent need: "Dannemora - it's like some kind of horrible depressing disease ... 'sorry darling, not tonight, I've got a touch of Dannemora'." The most persuasive argument for changing the suburb's name came from whoever said it sounded like a severe bikini waxing. (Source: nzcreativecircle.blogspot.com)

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Auckland has been lampooned on Uncyclopedia, a parody of online encyclopaedia Wikipedia. Here's how the writer describes Auckland's traffic woes: "One of Auckland's most famous features is its endless traffic jams, which stretch from the Bombay Hills in the South to the Hibiscus Coast in the North. The average speed of vehicles in Auckland is approximately 1 micron per century, meaning that many Aucklanders are born, grow through childhood saying "Are we there yet?", meet life partners in neighbouring vehicles, procreate, raise families, and die in the same traffic jam".

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Cafes in Hong Kong will now lend their dining guests dogs and cats to pet during their visits. This temporary affection, according to Der Spiegel, is popular because Hong Kong residents find it so inconvenient to own pets in such a densely populated city. Also, the owner of Augsburg restaurant La Boheme in Germany confirmed that although customers are welcome to bring their dogs when they dine, "small children" are not allowed in the evenings. "After a hard day's work, [diners] want some peace," he said. (Source: News of the Weird)

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