Thursday, March 23, 2006


Water campaigners at Parliament were more than happy to give Tim Barnett a slurp

Parched climbing the stairs to Parliament yesterday, a reader from Wellington rejoiced to see the NZ Kidney Foundation's Drink Water Week stall, overflowing with cases of bottled water. Our withered reader reached the oasis, offered to buy a bottle of water and was told, "No. We're using it for a promotion." Apparently the Kidney Foundation was presenting the water to MPs and couldn't spare any of its precious kidney hydration system for a thirsty member of the public.

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A single female reader suggests New Zealand's man drought needs to be taken seriously and suggests it's time for government intervention. She writes: "The 33,000 women (a conservative estimate according to the Sydney Morning Herald) who aren't partnered up because of a deficit of men in the 20-49 age group will also not be having the average 2.1 children, therefore reducing the next generation of tax paying New Zealanders by around 69,000 in 20-25 years. Extrapolate this by the forecasted average salary of $55,000 per person (adjusted for inflation) in 2030 and the government will be missing out on $2,286,900,000 in income tax alone. Factor in GST and the other draconian taxes we are subjected to and that could equate to over $3 billion in lost tax revenue. I wouldn't be lacking in national pride if I didn't point this out to the current administration and demand reforms on its immigration policy on behalf of all my single female friends. Therefore, as a matter of economic viability hot, healthy, single men, between the ages of 20-45 should be granted residency as a matter of priority. (sources include the KPMG survey 2005, the Inside NZ documentary on family pecking orders, some dodgy guy in a bar.)"

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A Professor at the Norwegian School of Management has written on why students should study maths: "Choose math because you will lose less money. When hordes of idiots throw their money at pyramid schemes, it is partially because they don't know enough math. Specifically, if you know a little bit about statistics and interest calculations, you can look through economic lies and wishful thinking. With some knowledge of hard sciences you will probably feel better, too, because you will avoid spending your money and your hopes on alternative medicine, crystals, magnets and other swindles - simply because you know they don't work." (Source:


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