Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Sideswipe

See, pregnancy is glamorous: No, it's not The Stepford Wives and definitely not the village virgins. These women are members of the fitness group Preggi Bellies, strolling near Albert Park in Auckland.

By Ana Samways

Dear Sideswipe,

I was most disturbed by an incident that happened on my patch last week. Some talented Elam post-graduate art students approached me to ask if they could provide some shelter for the forthcoming winter by building a piece of public art to protect me in the cool evenings. I quickly agreed, aiming to attract some hens with their magnificent Cape Cod style home, which was put in place at the crack of dawn last Wednesday morning. On Thursday morning, after undertaking my various nefarious duties, I found it had gone. Could the officious motorway minder, or thieving Auckland dad, please return my personal artwork.

Thank you,

Russell the Rooster

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Poverty and general tragedy don't get a look in for the new season of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. In an email the programme's casting agent details a creepy wishlist of afflictions the programme-makers are on the lookout for, including:

A family who are victims of hate crime

A family who has lost a child to drunk-driving

A family who has multiple children with Downs Syndrome

A child with congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis. "This is where kids cannot feel any physical pain," the casting agent notes. But the hunt for a young victim - who will likely die before 30 - will not be easy. "There are 17 known cases in the US," she writes, before chirpily adding, "let me know if one is in your town!" (Source: www.thesmokinggun.com)

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Tony Waring of Titirangi has driven behind a Toyota Prius, the terribly economical and green petrol/electric car and believes there is another reason why they are economical. He writes: "The Prius drivers move along at very conservative speeds, and I started to wonder if this is because they want to bore their colleagues and friends about how many kilometres they get to the litre. Yesterday my suspicion was fuelled further when I was driving (slowly) behind another Prius, this one with its wing mirrors folded in, presumably to reduce wind resistance and further increase fuel economy. Is this the start of POP culture - Pious Owners of a Prius?"

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Among the places of business particularly affected by Americans' cell-phone rudeness was the Green Oaks Family Dentistry clinic in Arlington, Texas, according to USA Today. Office manager Lisa Teague said patients were carrying on phone conversations while hygienists worked in their mouths. "It was very disruptive," she said. (Source: News of the Weird)

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Strolling Bones tickets gather moss: The response from Ticketmaster many of you will have received: "Due to an error with the ticket run, the tickets for the Rolling Stones have just started to be sent out, therefore if you have not received them by next Friday please call us on (09) 970- 9700 and we will action a courier trace for you." For the still ticketless, maybe it's time to take up the offer of a trace.

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